Someday, I'll live in a temple..

Anyone who knows me well, knows I dream of, one day, living in a temple as a Buddhist nun and spending my days in prayer and meditation and studying holy scriptures and chanting mantras.

Well, recently, in my meditation, it occurred to me that I cannot wait until the circumstances are perfect to start living the life of my dreams.   And I cannot go live in a temple at this very moment, so... my realization is this:

I already live in a temple. My body is my temple. It houses my soul. And just as I would be on my best, most pious behavior inside a temple, I must behave my best everyday.  Live holy and devout by being healthy inside my body. I must take care of it, from the inside out. Feed it well, practice cleanliness and good health hygiene, exercise, go to the doctor when something needs repaired, and be kind and gentle and nourish it, as well as nourishing my mind and spirit.  The same way you would ask your children to care for their body, heart and soul. {you are your child's greatest teacher.} It also occurred to me that my life, everyday, as a mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter or neighbor is my deepest meditation. Where better to be patient than with screaming, tired children when you, yourself,  haven't slept more than three hours at a time in years? Where better to practice love than with people who you want to deem unloveable? Where better to practice compassion than with a person who intentionally or unintentionally causes you harm? Where better to become peace than in the midst of chaos? My life and my actions, must become the holy scriptures I long to study. My words and conversations must become my mantras.  

All that I wish to focus on in that temple, that I imagine in my glorious future, I must focus on today. In this moment. 

No need to keep looking toward the future for the best days of my life to happen, everyday is the best day, if I can remember to be present, and be grateful for each experience and all it encompasses.  No need to put off becoming patient or more loving or more adventurous. No need to wait until my life is perfect to enjoy it fully. Today, this moment, that's all we really have. Tomorrow is never promised.   

As I am walking through my own personal journey of bravery and growth, I hope that I can encourage you also, even if just a tiny bit. I want my story to show you that adversity doesn't determine your destiny. Only you have the power to do that. You can change your life if it's not what you imagined your life to be. You can. You get a new opportunity every second to be better than you were. If you were mean to your children or your spouse or even to yourself, say sorry. If you made a decision you aren't proud of, or said something you wish you hadn't, Repent. And chose a better feeling action, word or thought. It's truly that simple. You can be better. You can be stronger. You can be bolder than you ever dreamed possible. It's all inside of you to make this life the life of your dreams. 

My meditation today prompted me to not let my heartaches and my own sins be in vain. Let them be told, so just maybe I can give someone else hope to tell their story. To be brave. To be bold. To be free. 

Blessings,

Melanie

I am okay

So, my friends who have called, text and messaged me asking what is wrong and am I okay...  I want to address you all and say, nothing is 'wrong' per se.  Cause we all know that I believe whole-heartedly that everything is always happening for our best interest, mine included.  and yes, I am okay.  and yes, I know my posts on facebook are "different".  thank you all, so much, for caring, loving me and reaching out, offering to help in any way.  it truly has touched me and shown me what great people i have attracted into my life. #lawofattraction

I have counseled many of you and (hopefully) helped some of you as you have walked through really hard things in your own lives over the years, and now, I get to be the student. Yes, 'get to'.  I get to walk through really hard things.  I get to experience heartbreak and anguish, sadness and also some pretty big anger, firsthand.  I am walking through things that have changed me and my life forever. hopefully, as I walk through this adversity, I do it so well, that there is minimal damage to those walking with me.  minimal fallout.  but, if I fail or succeed, either way, I will still be a teacher as I learn to walk through fire with grace, {this girl is on fiyah} because we are all the student and the teacher, always.  I hope to walk through this so well, so thoroughly, that when I come out on the other side I will be the shiniest damn diamond you ever saw {shine bright like a diamond}!

{sidenote, everything has become a song reference these days.  trust me, there's a song for every moment!}

God, Spirit, The Universe or whatever name you call the Divine, has great plans for my life, I have always known this.  And.. it turns out, the plans are not what I had actually planned.  {let it go, let it go} ;)  life is funny like that though.  always giving us exactly what we need, not what we humanly want.  I am embracing (and sometimes resisting) each moment of each day and at some point, I will probably tell details of these trials, cause that's just me.  I am a talker.  I like to use my own messy life as a teacher and example for others...showing you that there is always light at the end of the tunnel and it's much funner, yes funner, to dance in the rain than to wait for the storm to pass.  but for now, just know, I am okay.  I am still filled with love and light.  my heart has been cracked wide open in order for the light to escape at an even greater rate.  big changes, I am greeting you with all that I have left in me. (also, stuff like this sure does humble you.)

now, it's time for me to get back in my boat. {row, row, row your boat} aka meditate more.  prayer and meditation have been my savior and my daily sanctuary through this time.  I encourage you to embrace them both in your life as well, especially if you are facing challenges.  starting your day with gratitude helps also. (check out my instagram for the boat reference.)

I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes.  this photo is of my peonies from my garden.  they are overflowing with beauty and splendor. but you don't know that until they bloom. see how tight they are in their buds?  just like all of us.  the beauty comes out once they break open.

(both pics I posted are from my instagram, so yeah, you should probably follow me there if you like them.)

Love,
Melanie